Five Wooden Buttons

11/17/2013

"Five Wooden Buttons"

"Five wooden buttons", hand made out of a branch of Manzanita wood, a wood that comes from a beautiful bush that is protected in California.  Beautiful dark reddish wood with a blond streak running through it. A very hard wood, but as you polish, it presents such a glow that comes from deep inside.  

"Five wooden buttons", hand made my me.  Each one cut from a branch I found in the woods above my trailer.  Similar in size. They all began the same way, bark cut off, stroked and sanded carefully with different grades of sand paper until the finish was satin smooth. Hours of work, fingers worn raw. 

Then holes to drill.  A button must have holes. Maybe not 4, as it seems an overkill.  Two would be just fine, just simple, just perfect to hold the thread that is pulled through it many times in order to hold it in place on a beautiful hand made lilac sweater.  

   

"Five wooden buttons", each given my full attention, the stroke of my fingers for hours, and the anticipation of what would she say when I gave her the sweater, adorned with the Five wooden buttons, each individually sewn on, one by one. 

 

"Five wooden buttons". Twenty years ago, they were given to her, wrapped in such love. Received with a smile and then......never seen again.

"Five wooden buttons" appeared today, November 17, 2013.  As I was going through the boxes of "things" belonging to mom. So many things left behind. I have the job of the long ordeal of sorting, keeping, discarding my mother's belongings and personal effects. Those "Five wooden buttons" appeared. 

I have casually looked for them, over the years, when mom and I would go out to shop, go to doctors appointments, take a drive to see the beautiful autumn leaves.  They were never seen again until... 

Today, opening up boxes, little boxes. Boxes with a beautiful satin covering, old wooden boxes, colorful tin boxes, beautiful ceramic boxes.  My mother loved boxes of all kinds.  Then.....there was this little rust colored velvet box, 3x3x3 inches with a beautiful little gathering of gold beads on top making a small design.  As I opened it, there they were the "Five wooden buttons" all with thread through their holes. They were no longer connected to that beautiful lilac sweater.  The thread was the thread I sewed them on with but they all had been cut off the sweather.

There they were, all five.  They seemed to be hiding or tucked away, or forgotten where they had been placed or hidden.  Still shiny, still beautiful red Manazanita wood.  There was a hush in my heart. A silence in the empty room I was in. I could hear the wind outside. Here they were, living in this little velvet box, cut off and hidden away.  Why? I don't know.  

What I do know is that I was not the girl my mom wanted to have.  She had two children, myself and my brother.  I was a little freckle faced, redheaded, pudgy tom boy.  Mom and I were very different people. Over the years she struggled to make me look nice, making my clothes, perming my hair, making me wear a bra, pretty dresses and wear lipstick, etc. But to no avail. I was just a tomboy, a girl who loved working with her dad, getting dirty, going fishing, etc.

I have seen, over the many years, gifts I have given mom, put in a box for Salvation Army, given back to me, not remembering I had made it for her. My gifts to mom disappeared, worn once for me to see or just hidden away, never used.   I tried to be the daughter she wanted me to be. Mom had high expectations for me, which I never met. I have led a financially comfortable life, having wild and wonderful adventures. But.....not the daughter she "expected".  

Finding those "Five wooden buttons" spoke loud and clear to me.  The final word, the final seal on the suspicions I have lived in my heart for years and were confirmed when I opened that little box and found those "Five wooden buttons".    

"Five wooden buttons". They are still resting comfortably in that little velvet box on a shelf in my room.  A sad note at the end of my mother's life that she never intended me to find.

"Five wooden buttons", what else is there to say except....."Mom I miss you and love you".

Mom passed away March 30th, 2013 3:01 am, in my home with me by her side, holding her hand, feeling her fainting pulse. Trying to do what a daughter should do.

Accepting Last Chapter ..Part 2

In Part 1 I reviewed the changes in my mom.  Yes, we who still have our parents when we are in our 60's, are lucky........or are we?

They change.......they change..........they change............!

My mother became a recluse, had my step dad cover all the windows in their home with foam core - no daylight showed. She would sit under a lamp, in her recliner and work her word puzzles.  My step dad enjoyed watching old westerns and black and white movies.  Mom had him set the television so there was no sound, only the word captions.  Then that wasn't enough. She had him buy her a temporary partition that he would put up in front of her everyday so she couldn't see the tv.  

My father, on the other hand, is now 90.  He lost my step mom a year ago February.  They were never married but had so much fun for 42 years, or so I thought.  Towards the last year, my step mom often spoke of leaving.  We later found that she had been having small strokes.  She would get angry and say horrible things to dad then be fine.

I never expected my "daddy" to change.  I was his favorite, his pet, his tomboy who would go fishing with him, work on cars with him.  My brother was a wimp for so long and a mommy's boy.   I called dad everyday and if I missed he would track me down until he heard from me.  This went on for 20 yrs.  My brother would maybe call once a week.  

When I wanted to go see dad, I would ask my brother if he wanted to go but he always had an excuse and when he got out there to Arizona, he would have to get back.

After my step mom passed, I chose to stay and live with my dad for 7 mos. so dad would not drive.  He was legally blind but wouldn't admit it.  Dad became angry in his grieving process and took it out on me, a woman of 67 yrs. "Don't cross your legs, don't put your elbows on the table, don't step on the throw rug outside of the shower - you will get it wet - dry off in the shower, don't move anything in the refrigerator and put everything back where it belongs, fold the dish towels like mom did etc.  He would jerk his hand away when I reached to hold it.  Once, he thought I was putting my hand on his shoulder when we were out.  He jammed his elbow back hard thinking he was hitting me. It wasn't me but another person.   By the end of 7 months i was an emotional mess, and exhausted as I did all the packing of his 4 bedroom home, so dad could move across country.  My sibling didn't have time, and wouldn't come out to spell me so I could go home to see my husband.  

It took a couple of months with dad settling into his new home for me to tell him why I have refused to stay overnight and preferred to travel the two hours back home.  He admitted he treated me like s--t.  He apologized several times after that.  Our relationship got back to normal.  I loved dad so much and I finally had my "daddy" back.

Then a 6 mos after he had moved he became ill and almost died 3 times while in the hospital.  During his stay he was at various stages of consciousness.  When he was conscious but drugged he became that evil mean guy towards me again, calling me horrible names, ordering me around like a slave.  When my brother would enter the room, dad's arms were up and a smile on his face.  When I came in, he would ask why I was there.  He would hit my arm and order some water or changing the lights.  I knew it was his true thoughts.  It was like when a person has to much to drink the truth comes out...... and that is what dad was like.  Was it a stroke?  who knows.   But it was dimentia, his short term memory was failing, he was repeating himself.  

Now in the last chapter of his life, I have lost my dad.  My dad has some kind of unspoken hostility towads me or my past actions somewhere in my life.  He lies to me.  Tells me things are fine.  My trust has been broken.  

Do I just accept his change as a result of dimentia?  Is it fair that in the last chapter of his life his love for me has dimmed, my mother's love for me had dimmed?  

Is that fair? I have done nothing but try to be there and take care when needed.  And in the last chapter of their lives, they only remember their love of my brother, who has done nothing to help in any way in their time of need.  A year and a half of my life, sleeping in hospital chairs for a total of 6mos, running errands, handling their financial affairs?  Being the daughter who would be there for doctors appts, shopping, etc.   Dimentia took them, twisted their minds and I lost them.  Accepting the last chapters of their lives was so different that what I thought it would be.  I feel so alone, so abandoned.   

So prepare yourself, know that their minds change and you may lose them.  You may lose them as your loving wonderful parents.  And yet they will be there in front of you, needing your help, needing you.....and yet......you will be expected to perform and accept criticism like a hired maid.

Prepare yourself, Pray for acceptance and understanding.  Oh I understand........but my heart is so sore!  It is so broken.

Accepting Last Chapters Part 1

Ocober 6 2013

"ACCEPTING THE LAST CHAPTERS"

We all approach this point when we start losing friends and family.  I have never given it much thought, accepting that it will be full of tears, sadness, reflecting moments and full of work.  Taking care of the father or mother that is left behind or going through and getting rid of the evidence of a long life - THINGS, things, things..... would be the "work".  I "always" thought I was prepared for the trials and tribulations of raising a child or losing loved ones.  I always accepted that I would just have to figure it out, create solutions, and move on.  Never did I figure on what the side shows of those challenges would be.

The side shows of "Last Chapters" in my life has been more than challenging.  I am tough gal, still riding my mule, still able to take long trips with truck and trailer, endure mechanical breakdowns, troubled horses or mules, bad weather, unplanned monetary debt etc.   But the challenges of your parents, who live long lives, are nothing short of a "mountain to climb and then a slide down without falling or losing skin off your butt".  

In the last year and a half I have lost my Step Mom, my Mom, almost lost my Dad 3 times, taking on the care of my Step-dad, losing a, once loving relationship with my brother who turned out to be my enemy, lost 2 of my mule riding buddies and my black lab - Lucky. 

"Accepting Last Chapters" means just that - it means "accepting" when you haven't planned on it.  We think we know how the "last chapters" will go.......they don't!  My mother developed Dementia and we later learned, suffered many strokes over the last years which created her Dementia.  Our relationship, which has been a challenge for me over the years, became so much more difficult with her becoming recluse, becoming more critical of me and openly adoring my brother, her youngest.  I interrupted my life to take mom on shopping trips, doctor's apts., daily phone calls, shopping for her and making sure she and my step dad were okay and comfortable.  My brother, her baby son, called once a month and visited once every two or three months while living just 15 miles away. She opening adored him and throughout her illness, worshiped his every visit, word or gesture. She loved him so. 

Last January Mom suffered her first of two strokes.  I immediately took up residence in the hospital with her, while going back and forth to take care of my 91 yr old step dad, cleaning their home, doing laundry and shopping, taking step dad to dr's appts and then back to mom.  I was received at the hospital, when she was conscious, with little regard.  But the twice a week 2 hr visit from my brother was received with open arms and smiles when she was conscious.

It was a daily reminder that our relationship was always a "work in progress".  Mom and I were very different people.  And that difference was accentuated by the changes as result of her many small, undiscovered, strokes over the years.  In her last week of life, I brought her home to my home. , We redecorated the large bedroom, brought in a hospital bed for mom, moved step dad into the room to be with mom in her last days or moments.  We knew she didn't have much time. 

I stayed in a chair beside mom's bed for 6 days, with only brief times away.  I held her wrist on her last night of life, feeling her fading heartbeat, resting my head next to her and listening to her breathing.  Waiting, waiting, waiting for her departure.  And knowing she would miss her son but not sure she would miss me.  Oh Mom and I had some good times, laughter, talks etc but that was years ago and we both worked on being mother and daughter with little bits of progress - more acceptance than progress. 

The "Accepting..." I speak about is accepting the fact that your mom, at the end of her life still did not accept who you are, what you have done, your mistakes and successes.  To say goodbye wondering if you mom really loved you or just was forced to say it and accept you because she gave you life.  

 Was the doubt in my mind the result of being so close to mom over the years and not seeing the "forest for the trees" with small strokes being the culprits of change?  How do you factor that in?  How do you sort out what was really in her heart and what was forgotten as a result of the stroke/Dementia?  Was there a "deep down" love for her daughter as she approached life with lots of adventures, some of which was not approved by mom?  I was her "wild child".  To look at mom's urn, so beautiful, and wonder where she is, if she really loved me, if she knew how hard I tried to make her comfortable and at peace.  I didn't know about this part of the "...Last Chapter."  I didn't know I would be doubting my mother's love for me.  Or just be sad that she, as a result of her illness/strokes/Dimentia would forget her love for me.  It isn't fair, is it?  Did she forget?  I think so.  But maybe I should be just grateful she had it at one time, that she did give birth to me and loved me until she was ill. 

Maybe that is what "Accepting Last Chapters" means.


 

A Passing

March 23, 2012

Well greetings to all.  I haven't written in awhile as life on the ranch has been busy.  We had a very hot summer - even the old locals couldn't remember one so hot for so long.  Most of the farmers in our area lost their corn crops to the heat, their soy bean crops and their second hay crops.  We were lucky, we got a second cutting but it was half the production of what it should have been.  Then we sweated out not having enough hay for winter.  We had sold all of our 2011 hay and all of our first cutting hay (130 round bales) thinking we would have an average summer and would get a decent second cutting and maybe a third cutting if we got some rain.  Not a chance.  

My vegetable garden and everyone else's were terrible.  My tomatoes had buds and grew tall but didn't produce any fruit until late September.  I grew some Spaghetti Squash which turned out okay.  My green peppers (they call them Mangos out here) produced late and very few.  Everything else just didn't produce.  Even with watering them, it was to hot.  

So I was canning a few tomatoes in October and made some bread and butter pickles from some pickling cucumbers that the neighbors shared with me.  That was all the canning I did last season.  

Now, this year, I was hoping for a great garden and had lots of plans.  But life intervenes and I am in Arizona staying with my dad.  One month ago, my step mom got real ill and dad got her to the hospital.  She had a major heart attack and they put a stint in her artery which is 96% blocked but so were the other veins and they couldn't open them and she had 2 more heart attacks and flat lined twice a day later.  So I started driving which took me 1 1/2 days.  Meanwhile my dad called my step mom's daughter and that part of the family started making plans to come out from New York.  I arrived at noon on Thursday and the rest of the family arrived at 4:30pm.  Mom was coherent and aware of us all being there but couldn't talk as she had a ventilator.  Basically they were keeping her alive with all the tubes and things.  

This was the first time I have ever seen someone pass.  She was fading and unable to live without all the tubes, her kidneys were shutting down, her liver was almost shut down and she couldn't breath without the ventilator and it was beginning not to be able to help her.  She was so angry that she was reduced to machines and dad couldn't find the "Living Will".  But once her daughter got there and we all talked with the doctor and they had to make a decision.  While the family was in all talking and trying to go through that horrible process of letting mom go, I was with her.  I was holding on to her hand.  She was able to communicate by squeezes with her hand and her head could move a little.  I asked her if she had heard what the doctor had told us and she confirmed that she had.  I asked her if she was ready to go and she nodded her head as strong as she could up and down and squeezed my hand over and over and over again.  

I had those last moments with her and thanked her for being a "mom" to me when I needed one.  I don't get along very well with my mom as we are very different and I could never talk to her but I could always talk to my step mom.  She squeezed my hand softly as I spoke to her acknowledging my words.  

The family came back in and the decision was made to unhook everything.  They gave mom a very strong dose of morphine as she was in tremendous pain without it.  The family could not stay and watch.  My dad stayed to be with the love of his life and I stayed with my dad.  We both watched as life left mom.  Her breathing slowed, her heart rate slowed and then she gasped a few times but really not taking in any air.  The nurse says it is an automatic response.  She quieted and her breathing was so shallow and her heart rate slowed and then stopped.  

She was still warm, she looked so at peace but her mouth was open.  My dad left to go tell the family and I rolled up a towel, placed it under her chin to prop her mouth closed.  She was a proud lady who never let anyone see her without her teeth.  I closed her eyes and touched her cheek.  I kissed her on her forehead.  She was so warm.  I could feel her spirit.  

She was at peace.   Later as we left the hospital and were getting into the car, her dog, Touche', had been in the car most of the afternoon.  When we opened the car door, Touche' walked to the edge of the seat where the door was wide open, stood there and she gazed for a long time up into the air.  We just stood there, quiet, and watched her as she gazed upward.  Then after a minute or so, she turned around and went back further into the car and laid on mom's throw.  I truly believe she was watching mom's spirit ascend into the heavens.  

A loss of someone I will miss and look forward to seeing again when I go to the great barn in the sky.  Now I am with dad, he is unsteady on his feet, can't see very well and can't hear very well but has the spirit of a good old horse who won't quit.  My brother and I both spoke to dad as gently as we could to tell him he can't drive any more.  He has accepted that and been so good.  

Meanwhile everyone departed for their various homes except me.  I am committed to stay with dad and take care of him, helping him as best I can in his grieving process, help him to relocate.  That commitment may take, I fear, most of this year.  But my dad raised me and stuck beside me in all my crazy ideas.  I was his wild child.  Never in any trouble but always doing crazy wonderful things.  If it takes that long, so what.  He is my dad and I am here.  

I hope to go home to visit my husband and my little fur buddies and my horses and mules soon, and then return.  Life sure is unpredictable.  I could have bet that my dad would be the one to go first.  But here we are.  I am so grateful to have a wonderful, jolly, happy, loving dad.  

November 13, 2008 - Sunday
Farm life has been busy - with my husband nursing a broken collar bone, I have had lots of adventures on our huge Massey Fergusen tractor.  I love driving it and doing things, which is some times a challenge.  But it is also scary at times as it is so powerful but that doesn't stop me. 

Autumn is full of colors this year.  The trees are incredible, red, orange, yellow, purple, lt green, brown and ready to shed all of their leaves with the first hard freeze.  In this life on the farm there are many things that are "just a part of life."  Flies (that is why grandma had a pie cabinet to keep the flies off), ticks (they don't go away until a hard freeze), praying for rain - then praying it doesn't rain until you get the hay in, watching the local tv channels on days and nights of severe storms because they show the radar images down in one corner with alerts in case there are tornados in the area, making sure the weather radio is working after you go to bed as it will alert us of any tornado "watch" or "warning".  A tornado watch means the conditions are perfect for one, tornado warning means that one tornado has been spotted.  Accepting exceptionally dirty clothes from working on the farm, having slip on shoes and slip on boots at the front door, ready, for when you hear a noise or see something that has to be taken care of like horses broken out of the pasture etc. 

Then in the winter accepting the daily sweeping that must be done in the house because of the wood bin, the wood stove and all that it brings besides heat.  And accepting that living in the country brings dangers for you and your animals.  Coyotes, Cougars, Raccoons, snapping turtles, vultures, eagles and wild dogs.  The coyotes often take puppies and kittens if left out.  Cougars take small calves, dogs, sheep etc.  Raccoons can kill a dog by coaxing them into the water of a creek, lake or river then hold them down to drown.  Sheep face the same dangers with cougars, wild dogs and coyotes. 

We have just recently had to accept a loss - our two precious beagles.  The lived in beagle heaven, hunting in the daytime after it warmed up, napping on dog beds in the afternoon, going for a short hunt late afternoon and then settling down for a nice nights sleep in their own space, in the laundry room, with all the food and water they want.  They met a challenge last Sunday they could not overcome - Little Happy never made it home, and his girlfriend, Pretty Face, somehow crawled home only to die here.  That is the REAL world of country living and surviving. 

We have always taken in "dump dogs" who have been abused and/or dumped to wander and find another home, if they can.  So two beds have opened up and we wait for God to bring us some little guys who need help.  Meanwhile, their best buddy, Carver, a big Coyote Hound, who always ran with them, but age always brought him home early, is now desperately moarning their loss.  He gets up early every morning and goes to their room, then goes outside and looks for them, then comes back in and searches their room then cries.  It is so sad. I think he would have understood more if he had seen them dead. 

So, I have stopped leaving the barn door open at night, thinking Happy might miracously come home.  I know now he is dead.  They are both missed.  Our hearts miss them and I feel honored to have been a part of their lives and to have been trusted by them. 

Well, it all sounds ugly and depressing and then I look up, out the window and see the bright red Cardinal coming in for his seeds.  They are starting to feed as the fields get empty and the insects die from the cold nights.  Soon, all 5 bird feeders will be full of bright red Cardinals.  I am starting to straighten up my hobby studio where I have been
dumping all of the stuff, supplies for projects and unfinished projects.  Now the day has come - JUDGEMENT DAY - when it is time for me to dig my way through the stacks of stuff I have not put away, have done projects, supplies and ORGANIZE, ORGANIZE, ORGANIZE.  I actually love to organize but it has to be a cloudy, rainy, cold day in order for me to do it.  Otherwise I am outside playing in the garden, with my mule or dreaming up more projects for the barn and other outdoor improvements. 

Here are some of the projects:
*framing the hundreds of photos and many pieces of art
*playing with designing the frames myself as  hate the standard frames
*finishing the kitchen curtains
*hanging the pictures
*putting in the rest of the flooring in the bathroom and studio
*clearing off the shelves in the studio and mark thing to go to the booth I have in a consignment store in town
*putting together photos of my precious 4-legged angels
*design and put together small barn front, complete with doors to hang on the wall and hold  all the names of my 4 legged angels on it. 
*start making up cookie dough for holidays and freezing it

Well, that is enough to give you a headache I am sure.  No recipes today.  Just a visit.  Thanks for visiting and hope you come back soon. 

Stewed Tomatoes - Go Figure

Well, my grandparents and great grandparents could have told me if they were alive today - Farming is a gamble with nature.  I can't imagine what it must have been like to farm any crops without all the pesticides, John Deere tractors and equipment, watering systems etc.  They had wagons and mules and mostly homemade seeders and plows.  I count my blessings.  Yesterday, I was proven wrong, once again.  Remember how I complained that I had 16 tomato plants and hadn't picked more than 10 tomatoes all season and now we had a freeze two weeks ago and figured they were history.  Well, I walked out to the veg garden yesterday to see what had to be done to take everything down for the winter and to my surprise, I picked a full 5 gallon bucket of fresh ripe tomatoes.  YUP! No freeze rot or burn and the bushes were still full of ripening fruit.  Last night we had another hard freeze so I am not sure if they finally got it or not but today.........my schedule is already laid out for today........it is canning those 5 gals of tomatos.  I can't believe, canning in the last week of October.  Go figure. 

I am going to make "stewed tomatoes" as that is my husbands favorite and might make a batch of "salsa" also.  Big ideas, but lets see what I turn out with.  Now to dig out and unwrap the canner, dig out and wash and sterilize the jars, dig out and wash and sterlize the lids and seals, dig out the big enamel bean pot to boil the water to help skin the tomatos, pour a bag of ice into the filled sink of cold water so after scalding the tomatoes and seeing their skins start to split, dipping them out with tongs, thrusting them into the iced water which will make them peel very easily.

Once skinned, chopping them up and putting them in a big pot, along with chopped onions, some chopped green peppers (out of the garden, of course), celery salt, some sugar and a small douse of salt.

Here are the exact measurements and recipe:  CANNING STEWED TOMATOES

4 qts skinned, chopped, cored tomatos
1/2 c chopped green peppers
1/2 c chopped onions
4 tsp celery salt
4 tsp sugar
1/2 tsp salt

Place in a large saucepan/pot and bring to a boil, simmer for 10 minutes, stirring occasionaly. Pack hot mixture in warm jars, remove air bubbles by inserting a knitting needle down inside the jar, forcing the air bubbles out.  Pressure cook at 10lbs pressure for 15 mins for pint jars or 20 mins for quart jars.  Remove, place on a doubled old bath towel and covering jars with another doubled old bath towel.  Leave overnight and then check the seals in the morning to make sure they all popped inward.  Mark your jars - "Stewed Tomatoes"  and date.

There you go - get started.  if you don't have a pressure cooker you can water bath the filled jars.  If you want instructions on water bathing, send me a comment or email at mickipi2008@gmail.com and I will send you instructions for wather bathing. 

That is it for today.  Moving hay bales today and working with my mules if I have time. Plus canning - oh heck - well maybe we need to make this a 30 hr day. 

FARMER'S WEATHER PROVERBS:
"Forked lightning at night, the next day clear and bright."
"If it rains on a clear sunny day, it will rain again the next day at the same time."
"When the sun sets sadly, the morning will be angry."
"When cattle remain on the hilltops, fine weather to come."
"If birds be silent, expect thunder."

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND THANKS FOR VISITING.

I'm Finally Back!!!!!

As you well know, I have been gone for awhile. Life on the farm does not make life simple.  It can destroy a routine in just one day.  Summer was scorching - the hottest summer we have ever had, quote the locals.  My garden - well my garden didn't produce much accept some cucumbers and spaghetti squash which is still to be picked.  My tomatoes decided they would make an appearance, much to late, and as of last week the 16 bushes were full of green tomatoes and some starting to ripen. OH GREAT!!!!  "A day late and a dollar short" as my grandmother used to say.  Woke up this morning with 27 degrees outside.  Anyone interested in "frozen green tomatoes"? 

I took 3 1/2 days off from the farm 2 weeks ago.  Left on a Sunday afternoon in my truck, pulling my big horse trailer, loaded with my Foxtrotter mare, Cory, and my big wonderful Ugly mule, Denver.  Drove to an 800 acre ranch north east of here, "Eagle Ranch" where you can camp, ride the trails and just enjoy.  The weather had cooled so we had a wonderful time.  I say "we" because a couple of friends went along with their horses.  We had a great time.

Arrived home and went to kiss my sweetheart husband and found his right arm was in a sling.  The day I left, he tripped over a curb and broke his collarbone.  When I had called while on my trip to check in ,he did not tell  me because he didn't want me to worry or think I had to come home.  Goodness.

Well, that is why I haven't been blogging.  And this next part of the blog is especially for the Kim Kardasian's of the world.  Good gravy!!! is all I have to say each time I see her reality show where she won't even sit on her bedspread/comforter because it is some special silk.  This real housewife of rural Missouri had to step up to the plate.  Winterizing has to be done.  What is "winterizing" in Missouri?  Dust off the wood burning stove and make sure it is clean and ready to go.  Get out the wood splitter, call one of the son's and grandsons and have them come to help cut wood, split wood and stock wood in the barn.  Next, make a wood bin inside near the stove so I don't have to go out as often to bring in wood.  Cleaning off the wood stove turns into a "Chinese Puzzle" in my house.  The beautiful plant that was enjoying itself on top of the wood stove, basking in the sunlight all Spring and Summer long now has to find another place.  Of course, the place where this plant sits in the winter has been taken up by something else.  Long story short......it turned into reorganizing the front room.  Then, Kim Kardasian, when you start moving furniture around, if you live in a barn and in the country, you have to dig out the vacuum and begin vacuuming all the dust, feathers, dog hair and whatever that has been hiding behind that piece of furniture. 

Okay, chain saws are screaming and cutting up logs, logs are being split, then thrown in the back of a pickup and brought into the barn where they are then being stacked neatly.  Then we have to winterize the gas driven machinery = putting in an additive in the 4 wheeler, the mowers, cars, trucks and various other pieces of farm machinery so when the temperature dips, the gas won't gel.  Then our hay field has grown up and ready to be cut for our 2nd cutting of hay, which will partially be our feed for the winter for the horses and mules and the rest for our hay customers.  In order to get ready for the cutting of the hay, I hooked up 2 garden carts to the back of the 4-wheeler (ATV).  My husband could operate the 4 wheeler while I sat in the back wagon, leather gloves on and loppers (branch cutters) in hand.  We drove out into the 40 acre field and drove up and down looking for Black Locust suckers and more debris from the tornado last May.

You ask, "What the heck is "Black Locust suckers?"  Black Locust is a tree that grows in this area that has very long and sharp thorns.  The thorns are so sharp and strong that the thorns on the young sucker trees can go right though a leather sole on a boot.  The mature trees are full of thorns on their trunks and many on each branch. The thorns easily get to 5-6 inches long.  So finding these young trees or "suckers" is necessary as I don't want them cut and end up in our hay bales.  Trees out here grow like weeds.  I am always cutting down or lopping off or digging up trees where they are not wanted. 

We filled 4 wagons full of these suckers - it is a long, hot and tedious job taking many hours.  I would love to issure a special invitation to Kim Kardasian to join me next time. 

Next, after the hay is cut and raked (they rake it into "wind rows") they then begin to bale it.  This process takes about 3 days in all.  After the baling is done, I then will begin bringing in the hay from the field.  If it sets to long in the field it kills the grass underneath the bale and leave dead spots.  These bales are round and weigh approximately 1500 lbs.  I have to put the hay spikes on the big tractor then go out and spear each bale and bring it in.  You can leave the round bales out in the weather which is just fine.  The hay is rolled and wrapped very tightly with a netting so when it rains or snows, the rain and snow runs right off of it instead of soaking into it.  Each bale is equivilant to 16 square bales of hay, approximately. 

Okay, moving on - Bring in all the Humming bird feeders as they are all gone now.  Put out and fill all the bird feeders for the Tit Mouse (bird), Cardinal, Sparrow and Blue birds.  I have 6 feeders that hang outside of one livingroom window and we love to watch the birds feed, fight, play and just rest all winter long.  I also have to make warm places in the barn for the barn cats.  I set up boxes covered with old throw rugs and filled with an old towel or rug.  We have a tub of water for them in the barn so I set the heated water tub we have their water won't freeze.  Also I have to install the water heaters in the horse troughs and take off the automatic waterers which would automatically fill the troughs all Spring and Summer long.  During the winter we have to haul out garden hoses and fill them ourselves.  Now, we make sure the horses have a place to get in out of the ice and snow and wind.  I have a large stall inside the barn which has a door that opens out into the pasture and I open up that door, place a water trough in it and a salt block.  The horses will filter in and stand for awhile.  The little horses (minatures) have a separate pasture and have a leanto barn which has tarps attached to the sides to stop the wind.  The Minature horses have exceptionally heavy thick coats unlike the large horses so they are able to handle winter much easier.  They probably all do just fine without the stalls or the leantos but this mom would suffer more just worrying about them.

Lastly make sure the generators are dusted off and ready to go when asked to perform as we have several power outages during the winter from trees limbs falling on power lines etc.    NOW WE ARE READY - except digging out the winter gloves, if I can remember where I put them, dig out the winter jackets and coveralls, the Muck Boots and heavy socks and flannel sheets.  It sounds overwhelming but I love every minute of it.  The colors in the trees are incredible right now - announcing winter.  Then we will get a very hard freeze one night and the next day within one hour, all the leaves on the trees will fall.  REALLY, it happens that fast. 

Thanks for visiting and hope I didn't bore you - Please come back.

FOLK LORE:  You can tell if you are going to have a hard cold winter if you check to see where the squirrel nests are.  If they are built close to the trunk of the tree, winter will be hard.  If they are farther out on the branches, it will be a mild winter.  


COUNTRY RECIPE:   Fried Corn -   Fred Davis
2 - 3 corn cobs
2 Tblsp Butter
1/4 c of milk
salt and pepper to taste
touch of sugar if needed

Cut the corn off the cobs, then scrape the corn cops to remove the "milk" which is the juice of the corn - scrape all into a frying pan.

Add butter, milk, salt and pepper and sugar, if needed.  Cook and stir for about 20 minutes.  This is very good.

HAVE A GREAT DAY!